Redefining "Playground"

     Wally likes climbing on rocks.  The beach we often go to here in Beverly, MA has a nice pile of huge boulders at one end of it.  Can you see the problem?  Well, this last time I could not keep him off them.  I know what you're thinking...Come on Charles, he's only 3 and half!  You're the parent so you're in charge.  Just tell him it's not safe and carry him back to the beach towel.  Above all, stay safe on the sand and away from huge sharp rocks that either of you could fall off of into the ocean!  

    Well, I didn't.  I couldn't.  He's forty pounds, very strong and doesn't really understand verbal directions.  So once he decided he wanted to climb on those rocks the situation escalated quickly.  He was pleading, crying out, reaching, flailing and as I picked him up bucking his head back (by far his most dangerous weapon).  I successfully avoided the head butt by carrying him sideways, but no matter what I said he was not calming down.  Shortly I had to put him down as I was exhausted from trying to carry him while avoiding his hitting and kicking.  Once down his hands went into the sand and when I picked him up again he smacked me square on my right temple and sand flew everywhere coating my sunglasses and hair (thankfully none got in my eyes!).  So I put him back down and within two seconds he was scaling the rocks.  Kinda like this, but these are ones by our house.  I didn't have my phone with me to get a picture of the actual rocks.

     I'd been debating what to do about these rocks as we were approaching them.  I had guessed correctly that if we got close he might just climb right up them.  He seems to have no concept of what is dangerous.  He also isn't very verbal yet so he doesn't ask "Can I...?"  He just goes.  I was seriously considering going on them with him as he's a very good rock climber already, but decided against it once I saw how vast and pointy they were.  Really I was debating if I'd rather deal with the tantrum or risk the rocks.  I like to go on a calm hike in the woods.  I don't usually climb rocks.  For me the beach is a place I go to try to relax and especially if it's a hot day (like this one was) I try to move as little as possible.  This is not an option when I'm with Wally.  Movement is constant and required.  

     I think parents of kids with autism probably face these kinds of choices everyday.  It's particularly difficult facing a dilemma like this in public.  What will my son do?  Will people stare if I attempt to redirect him away from the dangerous thing he wants to do.  If he starts hitting, what will they think of me if he hits me or if he hits another kid nearby (Wally doesn't really notice who or what he hits)?  If I let him go, or go with him will people think I'm a risky or negligent parent, letting my son just climb anywhere?  Does he understand anything I'm saying?  Why can't he just enjoy sitting on a blanket in the sand on such a hot day?
     Well when I got sand-smacked I decided to try it.  Or let him try it.  But I had to go with him so he wouldn't fall in the ocean, or if he did I could rescue him.
     About halfway through our climb I looked up and waited for Wally to catch up.  In the distance I could see "normal" children playing on the traditional playground at the other end of the beach.  I see parents standing around, scrolling on their phones in the shade.  I wipe the sweat on my brow and smile at Wally.  Who wants a boring slide and swings when there are rocks to climb?  This is Wally's playground and I love playing with him on whatever playgrounds he discovers next.
  Wally often takes me places I never would have chosen by myself.  That's part of the gift that God gave me when he made my son and made me his dad.  We scaled nearly every single one of those huge rocks.  I wonder what we'll scale next?