Embracing Mystery
"This is a profound mystery." The apostle Paul said this about marriage and about the relationship between Christ and the church. Well actually he wrote it...in a letter to a church...in Greek...about 2000 years ago. But I thought it would be easier to just say he said it. Now I see I was wrong.
Mystery is always a part of life but it's become a daily part of mine. I find myself thinking more and more about the mystery involved in my relationship with my son Wally. His verbal skills continue to improve especially around letters, numbers and some colors but, his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) means that he still has very few words in spite of the fact that he'll be 4 in December. Another boy we know who has ASD was super verbal at this age showing ASD really is a broad spectrum. Anyway, his largest vocabulary set is probably words related to the Cars Pixar movies. "Ka-Chow!" counts as a word, right?
Some days I get so frustrated from our inability to communicate. I find myself saying things like, "Ya gotta learn to talk, buddy!" or, "Just tell me what you need!?!?!" Easy verbal communication is very rare between us so that when it does happen it feels magical, almost miraculous. Without words Wally has been forced to communicate through facial expressions, hugs, smiles, kisses, slaps, crying, throwing things, giggles, running toward you, running away, or just standing still and observing the landscape...
He's a careful observer. He'll look intently at each part of a new toy or through one of his books and say all kinds of things I can't understand or say the letters he recognizes. Sometimes he just looks and looks and looks, enjoying the pictures or textures or...
Wally communicates in a lot of other ways. I am discovering more ways to communicate every day. I still don't really know what he was trying to communicate here:
Mystery is always a part of life but it's become a daily part of mine. I find myself thinking more and more about the mystery involved in my relationship with my son Wally. His verbal skills continue to improve especially around letters, numbers and some colors but, his Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) means that he still has very few words in spite of the fact that he'll be 4 in December. Another boy we know who has ASD was super verbal at this age showing ASD really is a broad spectrum. Anyway, his largest vocabulary set is probably words related to the Cars Pixar movies. "Ka-Chow!" counts as a word, right?
Some days I get so frustrated from our inability to communicate. I find myself saying things like, "Ya gotta learn to talk, buddy!" or, "Just tell me what you need!?!?!" Easy verbal communication is very rare between us so that when it does happen it feels magical, almost miraculous. Without words Wally has been forced to communicate through facial expressions, hugs, smiles, kisses, slaps, crying, throwing things, giggles, running toward you, running away, or just standing still and observing the landscape...
He's a careful observer. He'll look intently at each part of a new toy or through one of his books and say all kinds of things I can't understand or say the letters he recognizes. Sometimes he just looks and looks and looks, enjoying the pictures or textures or...
One thing I am sure of is that there are lots of thoughts going on in there. I can see it in his eyes, in his expressions, in his tone of voice. You can actually communicate a lot without words. I often wonder what his thoughts are like. Are his thought in words or in the non-words that he says out loud? Can he understand the non-words? He seems to be sure that he is saying real words when he speaks. He's not playing around. It is definitely not nonsense to him. He's really trying to communicate. He has the look of someone who is speaking an extinct language that he expects everyone to know and he's just baffled that no one is saying anything back to him. He's just as frustrated as I am that I don't understand the non-words he's saying. There's lots going on in there and one of these days I think it will come gushing forth like a geyser. But for now, I get to embrace the profound mystery that is my wonderful Wallyboy. Thankfully, Wally's not worried about it or in a rush.
Comments
Post a Comment